Beta Tomorrow

and I am pretty sure of what the number will be....ZERO....maybe I will get a pleasant surprise though.

Blogging about a Friend!...the sequel!

So...blogging about a friend part deux.

It turns out I am 33.333333% of the plan....Friend number 2 is pregnant...due the first week of February. I had BETTER get a BFP....I love these girls...they are the best...but if I do NOT get a BFP this cycle I will be very sad, now that I know I could have gone through a pregnancy with 2 AWESOME people.

so send sticky vibes for my friends....and PLEASE PLEASE send all of your baby vibes to me!

Blogging about a Friend!

I must let you all know, I am cycling with a friend....kind of. She went in for IVF....she had her Retreival on the 15th of May, and a 3dt. She is suffering really bad from OHSS(ovarian hyper-stimulation syndrome) and is in the hospital. She is pregnant! and I am so very excited for her...she deserves this so much! So our plan is 50% complete...me being the other half...we would be due 4 days apart, it would be wonderful! I was hoping to complete our plan with a BFP this am...but that didn't happen, maybe tomorrow.

Please send all of your prayers and positive thoughts for my friend suffering from OHSS, and her little beanie(s) growing inside!

I Have Been a Busy Body

Its been a busy few days here. I worked some long shifts on Friday ad Saturday, Had a Bridal Shower Saturday Evening, and the T and I spent all day Sunday installing new light fixtures to change out the standard builder ones. We spent last evening installing a ceiling fan in our bedroom, which was a P.A.I.N. He did most of the work, but I could tell it was bad. He was in the Attic for a while!

Oh so whats my point....today is 7dpo....how that happened without me noticing much, I really don't know.

This cycle is so different for me emotionally. It is like it's not even happening. I don't know if this is because of the vacation, the early ovulation...or just me changing and becoming more jaded by the process. I haven't had the urge to pee on a stick, though now that I am not so busy, I may start. And I really have no hope that this will work...but I'll be happy if it does of course!

The clinic staff was surprised that at my young age I was on to IUI#4...and to be honest I am too. Then one of the nurses said you must have been pregnant, I had been twice I told her. So I guess that makes it different. I guess age does play some role in fertility, even though getting pregnant is only one third of the battle. Staying pregnant, and having a healthy baby at the end are the other 2 thirds, and are not guarantees, whether you get pregnant at all.

I think I am jaded....definitely.

I wish I had the ability to be aive through this whole process. I never had that, and in some ways its good, I know to have no expectations...but I wish I had some. When I started trying, a year and a half ago now, I knew not al pregnancies ended in happy families with brand new, sweet smelling babies. I knew there were complications, losses, sadness. That's a part of my job. I like knowing, becuase this way I won't sit on something like someone who is completely unaware, I will know when something needs medical attention. But at the same time...I would love to be A)Pregnant and B)Happy about it (In the sense of not knowing and assuming stuff will go wrong).

I am even more jaded after infertility and losses. I am super aware that treatment doesn't equal pregnancy now. I was before, but I still HOPED it would...and it did...but now I am not so naive. I also assumed that if they could not find anything REALLY wrong...then how hard could it be for doctors to get me pregnant and have a baby...right? oh so totally wrong.

So heres to 6 more days of wait for the beta...Maybe I will test starting tomorrow....maybe not, I am not really sure...all I know is there will be a light at the end of the tunnel...and I will get there...I just don't know what the mode of transportation will be just yet.

IUI #4.2

In one word.....AWFUL

sperm count......37million, better motility....GOOD
previously scheduled DR appointment with Gastro....fell right between sample giving time and IUI....GREAT
Taking head nurse and RE 30 minutes just to find my cervical opening.....after using 5 different speculums....HORRENDOUS

It really wasn't too painful...a LOT of pressure...but yikes...my cervix must still be on vacation. I had my most favourite nurse from this post

She was awesome and hilarious as usual. She said after seeing that cervix (or not seeing it) i will most definitely get pregnant...because she doesn't want to see it again! It was so nice to have her there through that!

Lets hope June 1st brings a nice shiny beta number!

IUI 4.1

today's IUI went well. I have not ovulated yet, the follicle was 2mm bigger at 22mm. the counts were good, 49million swimmers, but 53% motility, tomorrows should be better though.

Thanks for the support. This IUI kind of came out of nowhere, so I haven;t really had time to become excited/nervous about it, which helps I think!

Surprise!

Today I went in for my CD10 follicle scan and bloodwork. I was expecting something along the lines of the following:

"your follicle is 16mm come back tomorrow for another go at the dildo cam"

This is what I got:

"you have a great follicle in there, its 20mm...let me see if your blood is back yet...blood isn;t ready we will call you if you have your LH surge" followed by phone call at 2 pm: "yep you had your LH surge, we will do IUI tomorrow and Wednesday morning!"

First....HOLY SHIT! I just got back from vacation...was totally not expecting to jump head first immediately into IUI...I figured I had another few days. And In the first year of Trying...I ovulated earlier than CD18 only one time...and it was usually closer to CD20. So now I am ovulating on CD 11....What the hell...seriously.

So I guess my ovaries wanted a vacation too!

Don't get me wrong, I am glad this is happening, it just means I will get my beta results sooner too..I am just really surprised...and I REALLY hope this works...REALLY.

2 weeks from today...I may finally have another positive beta and a sticky bean that want's to hang around until Februaryish!

Show and Tell May 16, 2009

Ola, This week I am showing off pics of my trip from this week. It was an amazing trip. We went to La Romana, Dominican Republic, I learned a teeny bit of Spanish while I was there, had a TON to drink (which was nice since I had a negative beta 2 days before we left) and saw one of my greatest friends get married.

It truly was paradise.

This is what happens when you bring a camera from Canada to the Dominican...its not happy for the first 30 min.



Here's the view from our room:



flamingos at the resort, there were peacocks and lizards too.

Here's the wedding ceremony set-up, it was absolutely beautiful!


now click over here and see what everyone else has to show!

Back from Vacay!

and boy it was wonderful! I will post pictures for the show and tell tomorrow!

On a different note...back to my TTC world. I am on CD7 today, which means in about a week...IUI#4. It's another natural IUI, and although vacation is wonderful and amazing...it totally threw off this cycle. This was supposed to be IUI with clomid try #1...but this will actually be natural IUI#4. no clomid...since I was awa for CD3 blood work and dildo cam.

I'm ok with it...maybe we will totally get out of doing clomid...and have a wonderful sticky BFP....a girl can hope right?

What I need Most Right Now...

A VACATION. We leave tomorrow for the Dominican to witness my beautiful friend marry the man of her dreams! This Vacation is so much more than that though. This is a get.away.from.the.real.world.and.stress.of.infertility.week. I am so looking forward to doing nothing...thinking about NOTHING. So I will put my thoughts on whats happening here now and forget about them while I am away.

So Re's office called yesterday to tell me my beta was zero...and to come in CD2-4 for blood work and ultrasound, and dun-dun-dun.....CLOMID. Well conveniently(or inconveniently) I am going on vacation for SEVEN days. which means in all likelihood I will be in the Caribbean from CD2-4...ya that will be fun, not only will I have my period on vacation...but I will also miss CD3 monitoring. The solution from RE's office, apparently no big deal (to them) we will just do another natural cycle IUI if we can't get the baseline ultrasound for clomid. So I though this cycle would be a change, but apparetly its just more of the same...unless by some miracle I do not get aunt FLOW until the last day or 2 of my vacation....which would really be nice...really. Universe...please co-operate with me....PUHLEASE!

Zero

zlich...nothing!

that's the amount of HCG in my system...NONE.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me clomid+IUI info...I am soooooo nervous about doing this. I have made 2 follicles on my own twice in 3 cycles now and I am so scared as to what the clomid will do. RE mentioned at the initial consultation that my ovaries look like over acheivers...that they will respond very well to stimulation (I guess they have a lot of antral follicles) so thats why we avoided clomid, but after IUI#3 and one failed pregnancy...this is apparently the next step....any advice...please!