Work

well it was interesting.

I walked in, I cried. It was too much just being there. I asked to scrub instead of having a patient at first, that went well. then about halfway through the shift, we had become so busy I just didn't have time to think about what was actually going on. I just did what I was trained to do. Then I got in my car, and everything I had done/seen that night came flooding back to me, and I realized, that even though I can function at work, I was emotionally not well after.

we had 3 sets of twins that night, 35, 31, and 27 weeks gestation, and was really not something I was ready for, I thought I could just breeze through it, but I had to be intimately involved, and we were just so busy. I didn't go back Saturday Night.

I don't know how to explain to people that I really am doing well, and I could function at work, but I just can't be there, right now. I will try it again on Wednesday night though I think, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I imagined myself losing it in a patient room, and not being able to explain myself, but I held it together quite well.

We see the RE tomorrow. I can't remember if I posted or not, but I finally got a hold of his office and the secretary offered me an appointment for April 3rd....to which I responded, um....NO. She said hes here this week, but not doing appointments, and then hes on holidays for 3 weeks. She suggested coming in during clinic hours, I won't get a long appointment, but can talk with him about my concerns and our plan for next cycle, whenever that happens. I am on CD24 now, and no sign ovulation is even near.