Saturday, February 21, 2009


Today I just don't feel like myself. I am going to copy some posts I wrote on A message board here, to sum up my feelings.

"Hey girls;

I am in a funk, I don't feel like doing anything, I don't feel like seeing anyone, I don't want to go back to work, I don't want to prepare my meals, I don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to shower.

I can not figure out why, I mean I am assuming its due to the miscarriage, but I really emotionally have gotten past it. I'm not sleeping well because DH is away for work, but even with im home I don't slep very well, it is just worse when he is away.

A friend from HS is supposed to call me today to get together but I am just not at all up to it.

I just don't feel like doing a single thing, even around the house. Can anyone relate?

I am also feeling very lonely, I live far from all friends and family, so when DH is gone I am basically alone. :'( "

"I think its just being alone, I wish that my friends would be willing or able to come up where I live, its just the drive that I really don't want to do because I feel so out of it, like I can't pay attention, especially for an hour drive.

I made myself go out yesterday to get groceries and a lotto ticket for our big draw tonight, that felt good, and the day before I cleaned the house and did laundry, so that felt good too, but now I just don;t want o do anything so the house is getting messy again. I think I just need my honey home. "

"I can function most days, today is just one of the days I don't feel like doing a thing.

I think its a mix of the loss, the hormones being all funny, and my body trying to get back to ovulating (I think this is coming, my signs are getting more fertile)

I also hate that I can't just call my mom to complain and have her make it better. I miss that deeply.

I don't really understand why this is hitting me so hard, I didn't even feel this terrible when my parents passed, I mean it was sad, I was devastated.

With this loss I feel like my heart was ripped out, maybe because I tried so hard to get this pregnancy, maybe just because I had already bonded with that baby for a month. "

So that's that, I hope it gets better, I think If it doesn't I will have to ask Trevor to come home, I will also call my OB to let her know ow I ave been feeling, I really thought I was emotionally better, well as best it could be, but I guess not.

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