A Little about me and our Journey so far

So I decided I needed a blog, partly to keep a record of whats happening in my life through infertility and hopefully eventually a pregnancy, and also to help others through their struggles with similar situations.

I am completely aware that what I have been through is relatively little infertility compared to some, but its difficult nonetheless.

My husband and I have been together 6 1/2 years now, married for almost 2 years. We decided not long after we were married that we wanted children, but with my health where it was and still living in a one bedroom apartment, we decided to hold off for a while. I have Crohn's disease, and an elevated triglyceride disorder.

We decided we would re-evaluate our decision in early 2008. At a Dr appointment in November 2007 though it seemed our decision was made early for us. My doctor told me it would be best to go off of birth control, as it could potentially be elevating my triglycerides even more. So in early January I went off and we decided to go with it. We tried informally for a few months (meaning no charting, temping, peeing on sticks to see if I am ovulating, and when). In March we got news that Trevor's dad had multiple blockages in his heart and needed bypass surgery, we decided life is too short not to start having children (My parents have both passed away, and many other losses in our families).

We told our family in April that we were trying, everyone is excited, always wondering if this call home is "the one". It never is. In August I start wondering if my health conditions/past surgeries could be causing a problem, since at this point we are timing everything perfectly. Trevor does a Semen Analysis and everything looks fine there. We are referred to an RE (reproductive endocrinologist...long title for fertility doctor) We don't get an appointment until late October. Late October comes, they take many vials of blood from both Trevor and I, I get an Ultrasound. My ovaries look cystic, but ALL of the bloodwork is fine, no explanation. I also have an HSG to make sure my tubes are clear, they are. We go on wondering why its not working. We start a cycle of monitoring in December, I am growing one nice follicle on my own, we decide that this cycle the RE will check my CM against Trevor's sperm to see if they "get along". I ovulate December 24th (convieniently) and guess what...they don't get along! theres our answer! We do IUI December 24th and 25th. Our family is all here for Christmas so it actually works well, so I can get some rest and relaxation over the holiday. Januray 4th 2009, best news of my life, theres another line on the HPT! I am Pregnant! one try....how can I get so lucky. We got to see the little bean on U/S a few times, always a Heartbeat! I had some beta issues...whole other post, and some spotting from before I even got the positive HPT. I was worried, being and L&D nurse, I knew what that meant, but was hoping for the best.

February 6th changed my life, After being on bedrest for nearly 2 weeks for a small bleed (everything looked fine after it on U/S) I was getting ready to go back to work, and I bled again. A lot. enough I felt the need to go to urgent care and get a scan. We had lost our baby at 8 1/2 weeks. February 8th after misoprostil I miscarried.

So now we are back to square one. I have recovered physically from the miscarriage, I think emotionally too (I get pretty used to sorrow, and tend to bounce back really fast, I think I have learned to expect it). We are thinking about how we go ahead from here, try right away again, go back to the RE after my next period for another round of cycle monitoring, take a break (Which is last on our list since I can get sick again anytime). I think were just going to let what happens happen until I get my period, and go back to see the RE come next period.

Its been tough, I though I had been through enough the past 5 years that this would not necessarily be easy but at least go smoothly. What I have learned from this is to take every procedure, every step one at a time, and let things happen as they will.

Okay so this was a serious post, to let you in on my life the past while, but I will try to inject some light heartedness, even humour into my ramblings.